ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England ..
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,  how come Mother’s not Mop?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN

PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS GERMS!!!

The Incredible Spoon man

……….9……….

Hmm.. I think that i’m not as IT savvy as i thought I was.

Well, the test came when i needed to burn a dvd of “Secret Love in Peach Blossom Island”, and thus the journey, or the battle, began..

first i thought: hmm, i cant burn it the usual way right? cuz it needs to be playable on dvd players too.. so after researching on dvd data files, dvd videos.. i downloaded a cheetah burning software and put in my first blank dvd+r in, and it died on me.. that was causalty NO. 1.

I found that i failed because the file was too big, 6GB plus, couldn’t fit into my 4.7GB disk.. so i downloaded “dvd shrink” to compress the files.. and put in a blank dvd-R in.. and it sacrificed itself heroically, that was casualty NO. 2.

I first suspected there was something wrong with the disk, so i put in another dvd-r, and that was casualty NO. 3.

Now i dun believe in consecutive coincidences, so i suspected it must that the read/write speed wasnt compatible, the max on the blank disk being 16x, and my burning software being 24x, so i adjusted and put in casualty NO. 4.

Then i suspected it was because of my dvd writer not being compatible with dvd-r disks, so i went to popular and did an exchange of the bundle of disks i bought the previous day, into dvd+r disks. When i came home, i witnessed the birth of casualty NO. 5.

Casualty NO. 6 came into being when i suspected it MUST be the problem of the software, thus downloading another one: 1 click dvd copy pro.. As dvds had 2 recording systems, PAL and NTSC, i thought i missed that and went to see the original, it was the latter.

Again i inserted a blank disk and this time i was told that the files were encrypted. Silly old me, that was casualty NO. 7!

So i downloaded a dvd decrypter, decrypted the files and put in a fresh blank disk.. and it died.. That was NO. 8..

I ran out of ideas on what could have gone wrong.. so i tried using a dvd+rw, so that even if it fail, it will survive.. but it worked! hooray! but i tested it and realised i forgot to include the subtitles, though the menu and extras are there haha

So i thought i got everything right now and put in a blank dvd+r to repeat the process, with the subs, and thus NO. 9 was born..

devastated, i just do it with my dvd+rw and it worked hoho, with everything done correctly.. but my skills are not there yet as i think it’s definitely possible to do this on a dvd+r or dvd-r wan…

nevertheless, i learnt quite a lot, from diff forms of burning, movie, video,data files etc, to compression, decryption, recording systems, writing speed compatibility, difference between +r and -r disks.. that was quite a challenge, and i overcame it.. yay..

公公婆婆、外公外婆、爷爷奶奶、what’s the diff?

最近在一个朋友的公公的丧事上，再次发现许多人若不是不清楚公公婆婆、爷爷奶奶怎么用，就是以为自己很了解怎么用，所以就开始去纠正他人了。

一般人的理解/误解：

公公–〉妈妈的父亲？若是用作爸爸的父亲就是用错？

爷爷–〉爸爸的父亲？

还是现在就一次过搞清楚吧！

 

公公/婆婆：

1）你的丈夫的父亲/母亲叫公公/婆婆，这就是所谓的婆媳关系。

2）公公婆婆指祖父祖父，也就是爸爸的爸爸和妈妈。（用在男方一边是因为方言的关系，后来就沿用了下来）

3）公公婆婆也指外祖父外祖母，也就是妈妈的爸爸和妈妈。（方言关系）

 

爷爷/奶奶：

1）指祖父祖母

2）爷爷也可以指父亲–〉爷娘（多在中国用）

 

外公/外婆：仅指外祖父/外祖母。

 

所以如果要称呼可以叫：

爸爸的爸爸/妈妈     ：     妈妈的爸爸妈妈

公公婆婆                    ：     外公外婆 （这个组合是我惯用的）

爷爷奶奶                    ：     外公外婆

爷爷奶奶                    ：     公公婆婆 （这个组合是我觉得新加坡人惯用的）

最后再说点“爷”这字。有一次在翻译课上，听老师用“老爷/姥爷”、“姥姥”，指自己的外祖父/外祖母，谁知道有些学生却嗤之以鼻笑了几声，显然是不以为然。唉，真觉得本地学生少见多怪，还偏偏幼稚地表现出自己的无知。

姥爷/姥姥和外公外婆一样，都指外祖父外祖母，只不过多用于中国罢了！

Language: pronounciation + strained relationship

Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off

Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,

Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don’t know where I’m at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:

You say either and I say either,
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either neither, neither
Let’s call the whole thing off.

You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto.
Let’s call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas,
I’ll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing off
Let’s call the whole thing off.

You say laughter and I say larfter
You say after and I say arfter
Laughter, larfter after arfter
Let’s call the whole thing off,

You like vanilla and I like vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry
Let’s call the whole thing off

But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I’ll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let’s call the whole thing off.

I say father, and you say pater,
I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater uncle, auntie let’s call the whole thing off.

I like bananas and you like banahnahs
I say havana and I get havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs havana, havahnah
Go your way, I’ll go mine

So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters,
So all right no contest we’ll order lobseter
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let’s call the whole thing off.

Other non-album lyrics by ELLA FITZGERALD

ps: the video below is not by the original singer but it sings the full version, which includes verse 3. but then, he cant really pronounce the two versions, like for eg., for per-jam-mus VS per-jah mus, he pronounced them as per-jah mus VS per-jar-mus. same thing for the promounciation of the female singer.

Mafia War

hoho.. just started playing mafia war, and thanks to my friend who introduced me to this game, i’m doing all i can to increase my level.. quite surprised to see some of the people in my mafia have such high levels thou, 200 plus, even 300plus, nearing 400, cant believe how much time they would have to put in everyday, or how long have they been playing this game..

but never mind..

to war! my brothers!

Uncategorized

Since the moment I gave up being a teacher, I’ve lost what I had held on to for years. From as long as i can remember, I had always wanted to become a teacher, but now, frankly speaking, i’m quite lost.

It’s true that i like what i studied, and i do have some sort of passion for chinese. I’ve tried my hand in chinese orchestra, at chinese chess (xiang qi), go (weiqi), lion dancing, wushu, and calligraphy. I once devoted quite some time to reading up about chinese myths, feng shui, chinese ancient professions, chinese 五行、八卦、数术etc. I read classical chinese texts such as论语、孟子、荀子、庄子、老子、周易、左传and studied about chinese philosophy.

I particularly like chinese 武侠小说, and completed all of jin yong’s works, collecting them as i go. My major in university is chinese, specialising more on linguistic and philosophy, thou i honestly feel i dont excel in them. I’ve tried producing some pieces of creative writing but none had been particularly satisfactory. All in all, you can say that chinese has been with me all this time, or that i’ve been spending way too much time on it.

Yet despite being this intimate with chinese, i come to realise i dont practise what i learn or preach, i cannot seem to appreciate things too artistic, i prefer to be shallow. If i’m to just work outside now, a stranger probably would think my chinese inadequate to handle anything with people from china, though i do believe i’m a shade better than the average joe in regards to chinese. For someone immensed in chinese culture for so many years, I’m not honest, nor dilligent, nor do i possess any qualities that the typical good man would have in a traditional chinese novel. I’ve been tested not just once but many times in my life, and i’ve failed these tests, which came in various forms, or at least i didnt deem myself passing them with flying colours.

Sometimes I even wonder if I would be a different person if I had grew up in a different environment. Today and for most days too i wonder if i had wasted my education, that i’ve let a lot of people down, people whom had thought i would do my share to save the dying chinese community. I dont know. I prefer english novels, movies, tv shows, textbooks, music, language, culture…to chinese, and the list goes on. But i’m still a chinese at the end of the day. I cant change anything, and forcing a change will never get me anywhere close to a happy ending, so i guess, let’s just be a chinese la. haha..

Uncategorized: 天才的定义

可这还算不上是“真正的天才”。上述的普通天才，少一分努力或悟力都不能解开难题，在披荆斩棘，克服困难的道路上是不可以停歇的，也是痛苦、困难的。不过，对真正的天才而言，天分和努力的比例恐怕是7、8分对2、3分了，甚至更为悬殊。

这些人，只要面世，就一定站在各自领域的最高峰，但这并不是说现在站在最高峰的所谓“权威”就一定是真正的天才，要知道真正的天才不是常有的。他们的出现，通常意味着时代的改变，或各领风骚，带领时代快速前进，或因为超时代的智慧酿成自己甚至时代的悲剧。普通天才面对难题尚且需要经过许多努力探索正确答案，真正的天才却是不会如此的，要他们付出努力的，只会是在他们层级的更高深问题的思考与理解。他们触类旁通，他们眼光独到，且具开辟性。

至于普通知识嘛，他们不需要努力，学相对论或许就像是小学生学一加一那么简单。当然，他们门还没面世的时候，所谓的普通天才看起来就是天才了，所以连带让人以为勤能补拙。其实这句话不过是鼓励人们不要绝望，让人们以为命运真能掌握在自己手里，鼓励他们力争上游。

不过，相信不少人不知不觉中就已经意识到自己的极限在哪里了吧，多努力少努力也不会改变什么了。

这些结论是有些极端了，可如果把问题再缩小几百倍来看，其实就不难理解为什么有些学生学习能力不如其他了。有些人说老师不会教，方法老旧，一成不变，有些人说学生不努力，不专心，不聪明，我说全都有。老师方法不对效率就不高，学生没有付出，老师再好也没用，所谓师傅引进们，修行靠个人嘛，学生也可能还没开发出他真正的潜力，小时候还看不出，所谓大器晚成。但无论如何，即使没有天分——而有时意识到什么东西重要，什么读书吸收方法效率高，也是心智天分中的一部分——那我送你一句话，去做我所说的“努力型天才”吧，或最少去做人工造就的伪天才吧，如果没天分又无自知之明，那别要求那么高，普普通通就好，普普通通就好，毕竟那个天才指的不是你。

Uncategorized: 天才的定义

hmm，以前学习成语时，不时会碰到什么“勤能补拙”，“笨鸟先飞”等等，还以为说得挺有道理的，可随着年岁渐高，见识也已有所增长，对生活有了一定的体悟，才觉得这些活虽不至于是狗屁，可都是些自欺欺人，自我安慰之语。

爱迪生通过不停的试验终于成功？爱因斯坦说天才是99分的努力加上1分的天份？我呸！少来了，要一个白痴学习并精通相对论，就算用上轮回一百世的时间，他也始终是白痴一个！

那天才是什么？天分和努力的关系是怎样的？要探讨这问题得先看看这正常人是怎么个样子的。依我看来，正常人的普通表现应该可以说是二三分的天份，加上二三分的努力成就的。这一辈子也就普普通通的度过。

而人们眼里的天才呢，特别是人们嘴里常提的那些不仅有天份，而且努力不懈，拥有孜孜不倦精神的“努力型”天才呢，应该是5分天份，5分努力吧，少一分都不行。这些人天资不错，但唯有经过不懈的努力，才终能成就一方大家，所以也就给人一种“努力能够弥补天分不足”的错觉，让他们以为天才是可以靠努力造就的。

唉，此言差矣，而且错得离谱。我承认，如果把一个人从小就以成为一方大家为目标培养的话，比方说成为大厨吧，可能20年后他真能成为一流厨师，但这和之前提过的天才不一样！这种“貌似天才”，其实不过是2，3分天份，加上最大发挥出的7，8分努力而造就的假象。这和普通人的2，3分努力，2，3分天份相比，自然以为“天才是可以努力出来的”。

但是，5分对5分的天才可能可以在未知的领域上寻找答案，例如开发出不同美味等，本能地把未曾用过的材料自行搭配，并知道大概会得出怎样的味道，这些是“貌似天才”难以做到的。换句话说，“貌似天才”是所有知识与经验的传承，而天才是道路、新领域的开辟者。况且，努力可以到达几分？若假设用上所有时间与精力的努力数字化为10的话，那人家10分努力5分天才和你10分努力，2分天才，谁更天才？(to be cont)

Slangs

This is actually quite humorous. I like how they make fun of each other, those sarcastic remarks, quite a getaway from my usual 低笑點 and 低級幽默, hoho..

That’s House from “House Medical Diagnosis”!